Hilarity

I just watched Chris Rock's opening speech for the 77th Academy Awards. Apparently he's extremely funny even when he doesn't use words such as ****** or **** or ************. I laughed until tears came to my eyes.

Also funny, now that I'm looking back on it, was today's close encounter with a Statesider Resident. For those not in the know, the Statesider is the most expensive of the PRH dorms. It's full of the snottiest people you will ever encounter outside the Upper East Side of Manhattan (and, in fact, a lot of the kids there come from the Upper East Side of Manhattan). My suitemate Mike all but refuses to set foot in there, simply because the population is so unbearable. Let me illustrate:

Today they offered with brunch fresh bagels. For slicing purposes they had one of those V-blade bagel-cutters as well as a small serrated knife. I used the knife to great effect on my first bagel and decided to take the same approach to the second one. It turned out to be a little tougher, and getting started was a bit slow, but it came out just fine. While I was sawing into it, however, a rather typical Statesider male resident said to me that there was a bagel-cutter to my left, and I thanked him but also said that I thought the knife works a bit better. He scoffed and said "I doubt that!" I looked down at his plate, and he had sliced bagel but it was an absolutely mangled mess. I was, needless to say, nonplussed.