A Pose By Any Other Name

After an afternoon at the beach we took a dinnertime siesta and then regrouped at Carousel Mall to see Little Miss Sunshine at the Regal Theater on the third floor. Chris, who's been my angel-of-transportation this week, drove me, and we arrived with enough time to head into Victoria's secret to find a pair of underwear that would satisfy the requirements of a coupon she'd had in her purse. I hung back for the first couple of minutes she was checking tags, figuring I'd be more in the way than anything. Eventually I did jump in, digging through the disorganized piles (in an ultimately fruitless search), but while I was waiting during those first two minutes I noted a rather prominently displayed add featuring model Heidi Klum. Black and white photos of Ms. Klum posing in a smooth black brazier were completed with the following quote, attributed to the model herself.

"Now I have a bra named after me."

Which got me to wondering: what's the bra called? The 'Klum'? The 'Heidi'? Sadly the 'Klumcupper' seemed out of the question. 'Heid' & Chic'? No. Then I joined in the search for panties (solid color; pink, white, or black; $5; and, of course, a size and cut to suit Chris's tastes), and bras had to be forgotten.

But not for long. Thumbing through the newest edition of The Week when I got home, I found a tidbit lifted from this bit in New York's Daily News:

Elle's shock over 'Body' double Klum

Is Heidi Klum a 'Body' snatcher?

Fellow supermodel Elle Macpherson, who's been known as "The Body" ever since Time magazine dubbed her that in a 1986 cover story, has every reason to think so.

This week, Klum has been claiming the title for herself in a saturation Victoria's Secret ad campaign for The Body bra. "They call me The Body—and now I have a bra named after me," the German hottie claims in TV commercials.

But not so fast, Fräulein Klum!

"We saw that and were like, Oh my god!" Elle Macpherson Intimates spokeswoman Melissa Edwards told Lowdown yesterday. "We were initially flabbergasted."

Now it's a battle of the supermodel moguls—Macpherson, the 42-year-old, 6-foot Aussie mother of two, against Klum, the 33-year-old, 5-foot-9 mother of two (with one on the way).

Elle's flack, Edwards, invoked the 1986 Time cover and added: "We have numerous press clippings in the office referring to her as 'The Body.' Everything from Harper's Bazaar to Vogue to the recent Sports Illustrated calls her that. In terms of public record, that name belongs to Elle."

Macpherson markets her own skin-care line, "Elle Macpherson The Body," along with a lingerie brand and a fitness video titled "The Body Workout." Klum—who was once called "The Body Two," in deference to Elle—is a relative Heidi-come-lately, and didn't hit the United States until the late 1990s. Both Klum and Macpherson have been favorites of the Sports Illustrated annual swimsuit issue, and both appeared in the mag's latest.

But what's up with "The Body" doubling? A spokeswoman for Klum and Victoria's Secret didn't respond by deadline to detailed messages.

This had me really confused, because I was absolutely certain that "The Body" referred to retired Navy SEAL, ex-professional wrestler, and former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura! This led me to recall his expressed desire to be reincarnated as a 38-DD bra. I momentarily panicked, but Wikipedia says he's still alive. Whew. I need sleep. I never thought a trip to Victoria's Secret would have me in such a tizzy.